Nate wanted to date Alex in Maid, but she refused his advances; here's why that was the right choice for the struggling single mom to make.
Although it was sometimes frustrating watching Alex reject Nate's offers to help on Maid, ultimately, the single mom made the right choice for herself — not to mention for her daughter Maddy. The Netflix miniseries is a grueling look at the struggles of protagonist Alex (Margaret Qualley), a young mother with few resources trying desperately to exit a toxic, abusive relationship with her boyfriend Sean (Nick Robinson), with whom she has a preschool-age daughter, Maddy (Rylea Nevaeh Whittet).
Inspired by Stephanie Land's memoir Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive, Netflix's miniseries Maid has characters who are complex and relatable, including the easy-to-despise Sean; however, one of the less obviously problematic men in the series is Nate (Raymond Ablack), who Alex knew from her life before she became romantically involved with Sean. Flashbacks reveal that Nate had a crush on Alex back then, and it quickly becomes obvious that his infatuation with her persisted over the years.
Nate repeatedly insists on helping Alex throughout Maid, and eventually reveals his desire to start a romantic — or at least sexual — relationship while she's crashing at his house. As a successful, kind, and stable man, he seems like a perfect partner — so why does Alex repeatedly turn him down? Although her reasons may have been dignity or pride (she was obviously attracted to him too, so it wasn't a lack of mutual interest), she made the right choice to not pursue anything with him. Not only was Nate probably not in the right headspace to start a new relationship, but he also fundamentally did not see Alex as an equal.
The problem with Nate in Netflix's Maid is that he exploits an unequal power balance with Alex. Initially, his intentions do seem pure; however, in episode 7, "String Cheese," he inadvertently reveals his inner toxic attitudes towards her. After she has repeatedly turned him down, he uses the opportunity of her staying in his home (which she only does because she has nowhere else to go) to try and woo her, eventually asking her out. Alex rightly points out that "it's not equal between [them]." Instead of recognizing the pressure he's putting on her in this circumstance, he responds "I don't care about that stuff" — completely denying her any agency in the situation, unable to see past his own perspective.
Although he uses a different toolset, Nate's behavior in Maid is similar to Sean's in that he exerts his power as a means to control. He emotionally manipulates Alex several times in the series, and even turns her out on the street when she doesn't meet his expectations (although she did break his trust by unexpectedly staying out all night, leaving her daughter in his care). Arguably, the biggest difference is that Nate is, at his core, well-meaning; clearly, he wants to swoop in and save Alex from her current, desperate circumstances. The problem is that he is incapable, or perhaps just unwilling, to listen to what she actually wants.
In the end, Alex needed to end her relationship with Nate in order for her own personal growth. Rather than trade in one man she's dependent on for another, Alex is able to — eventually — get on the right path to be genuinely self-sufficient. Alex leaves Fisher Island, Washington at the end of Maid, finally being able to pursue her dreams and ambitions by attending college for creative writing — and her future ahead sure looks bright.
